Teaching Our Daughters to Do Their Husbands Good NOW

Well, the next post on sharing will be here next Tuesday! Instead of finishing it now, I am working on a shower gift for my future daughter-in-law’s bridal shower on Saturday, writing a devotion to give at the shower, and editing a great new book on wedding planning that we’ll be publishing by the end of the year (written by the amazing lady who coordinated a couple of our family weddings). If I get all that done, I need to start cutting out flower girl dresses and planning a rehearsal dinner! What made me think that being the mother of the groom meant I didn’t need to start all these projects earlier?

So, I’m posting something I already have ready to go.  It’s actually quite appropriate while I’m steeped in wedding plans and preparations. The dear young lady that is about to become another Mrs. Forster is a treasure. She has been doing her future husband good for many years — even back when Benjamin and his brothers were tormenting her and her sister with slugs impaled on sticks…

Katie helping her mama clean

“…She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12).

We’re probably all pretty familiar with the Proverbs 31 woman. She’s the perfect one that makes us all feel horribly inadequate. But she’s also an amazing lady, and a great example for both us moms and our daughters to look up to and seek to emulate. We can point our daughters to her example, even at a very young age.

Proverbs 31: 11 says “the heart of her husband safely trusts in her.” Verse 12 goes on to state that “she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Have you ever noticed that it says, all the days of her life? While we are striving, with God’s help, to do our husbands good, we can also teach our daughters to do their future husbands good, even while they are young. Right now, they can be blessing their future husbands.

  • By honoring and obeying her parents. If a daughter learns to respect and obey her parents, she will be open to their protection and guidance when considering marriage. She will also be prepared to transfer that respect and obedience to her husband on their wedding day. In her childhood and youth, she will be greatly blessed, if she has chosen to honor her parents, and will fully benefit from their instruction and counsel.
  • By loving and studying God’s Word and seeking to obey Him. Marriage is not easy. Two sinners cannot live together in harmony outside of the grace of God. A young lady who has learned to cherish God’s Word — who turns to it for wisdom and comfort and strength, who is committed to obeying it in all areas of life – will be a great blessing to her husband and to the generations that follow him. Her first focus will be on Christ, and she will not expect her husband to provide what only God can give.
  • By living a life devoted to serving others. Besides blessing her family and all those around her, a daughter that has learned to focus on others will be better prepared to serve her family with a loving and cheerful heart.
  • By nurturing a good sense of humor. A lady who knows how to laugh will be quicker to overlook the inevitable foibles of others, will more cheerfully accept what God sovereignly brings to her life, will bless her husband with her cheerful spirit and will spread her joy throughout her household, and will “smile at the future” instead of worrying.
  • By focusing time and energy in developing the traits and skills she will need to manage a home. Not every girl will grow up to marry, but most will. And those whom God calls to single life will still need the same skills to manage their own homes and to help in others’. A bride who has learned to be creative, economical, compassionate, and diligent will be a great blessing to her future husband and children.
  • By saving and investing a portion of any money she earns into materials for her future home. We had our daughters, starting when they were still very young, set aside a portion of their earnings (mostly earned by working in our home business) in a fund we refer to as “dowry.” This money has been earmarked for purchases related to their future homes. They have purchased items at garage sales and special store sales. They have invested in books and sewing machines, dishes and cookware, cameras, and even pieces of furniture. This helps to ease some of the financial burden when newlyweds are setting up their new household.
  • By saving her heart for only her husband. A daughter who protects her heart will be able to give it all to her husband when she marries. We asked each of our daughters to make a commitment to us. We took each one out for dinner and discussed our desire to guide her through her years of young womanhood. We asked her to commit to following our counsel and communicating honestly with us about matters related to boys, and we committed to lovingly protecting and guiding her toward an emotionally and physically pure wedding day. We sealed our covenant with a special ring for each of them, and each daughter has worn that ring as a reminder to her as she travels through the challenges of young womanhood.
  • By embracing chaste and modest maidenhood. A daughter who commits herself to purity, who doesn’t engage in flirtatious behavior or silly chatter about boys, who doesn’t pursue the attentions of young men, will be a true blessing to her husband. She will become the kind of woman he can truly “safely trust in.”

How will you encourage your daughters toward godly womanhood? How will you help them bless their future husbands now? Pray for them, love them, and commit to guiding them toward that goal!



« « Previous post| Next post » »